Tuesday, February 13, 2007


Hey, I'm sorry. It has been a few days since I last posted anything. My days have been so hectic, even right now I have other things that I need to do. I think that the reason I have been holding off from the posting is because my Bible Study has led me to the last couple of days of Jesus' life on earth. Since I do my study so slowly, these few days really do take me a few days to get through. They are very sad and I struggle with what happened to Jesus. I know He wins in the end, but it is a sad time. Here is what I have from yesterday about Luke 22:42 - saying, "Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done." Jesus was really struggling, and this verse which takes a moment to read describes an event that took what I imagine was quite a while. In my mind, here is what I think some of that conversation involved

- Ben Blue Jean Para -

He prayed, “Dad, if it were alright with you, we could not go through all of the things that are about to take place. Just like you, I love these people. I love to be here with them. I love to be a part of their lives. They are the gift you have given to me and I love you for it. Maybe there is a way that we could figure out how to give them a permanent sacrifice besides what has been planned. -- That won’t be right; it couldn’t ever work. Aghghggh! I love these people so much that I am willing to die for them, but I don’t want to experience the separation from you that I know will happen when the time comes for me to bear all of their sins. I love you and I don’t want to experience that one moment apart from you, but if I don’t give myself as the sacrifice for all time, they will be lost. They need the love that I can give through sacrifice and I want to keep loving them like I have today so I will do it. But, I don’t think that I can bear causing pain for you by taking all of their sins on me. Aghghggh! Dad, whatever you think is the right decision, I will accept as my own.”

Today's study was still sad. It was the moment when Judas did what he did. Then the guards took Jesus into the high priest's court yard during the night and strummed on Him until the morning. It is also when Peter's denial broke his heart when he heard the rooster.
Luke 22:63-65
This happens during the night after Jesus had been taken into custody. I see Peter off to the side looking in uneasily at this scene.
- Ben Blue Jean Para -

He saw that the guards that had taken Jesus into custody had made some sort of blindfold out of what looked to be a sock. They had covered his eyes with it and had started poking him with their swords and hitting him. He saw one of the men run up and smack Jesus in the face with a canteen while he was screaming, “Hey old prophet, prophesy on this!” Jesus pummeled to the ground and the man that hit Him yelled, “Who is it that just hit you?” All of the guards started laughing at what they had just seen. Then the man stepped to Jesus and since He didn’t answer, the man bent down to take the sock off of Jesus’ eyes so that He could see who it was. Jesus looked up at the man from the ground with His one good eye that hadn’t swollen up yet, and the man said to him, “Hey, Jesus, it was me!” - Let me just warn you that the words that you would have heard that day were not as kind as what I have just written. - Peter grabbed his mouth and covered it so as not to make a sound.

Luke 22:60-61
Then this is as Peter realizes the moment of his third denial
- Ben Blue Jean Para -

As he finished that last word, he heard the rooster jump starting the morning with a, “cock-a-doodle-do.” “On no!” He breathed. At that moment, he remembered that Jesus said, “Peter, three times tonight you will deny that you know me. When you hear the rooster crow in the morning, you will remember what I have said to you now,” and he did remember. He looked over at Jesus lying on the ground, beaten. He looked closer and saw that Jesus was looking right at him. Just then one of the guards kicked Jesus in the stomach and caused Jesus to close His eyes in pain. Peter stared at Jesus for a few seconds more, then with tears streaming down his face, he ran. He didn’t stop running until he was completely spent and he fell onto the ground still crying, still weeping over what had just happened.


Caci said...

good writing...where's your picture??? I LOVE YOU!

Wonderful Windy said...

I am like a elementary child and I almost can't bring myself to read something without a picture(especially a Ben Newton original)

Benny and the Newtones